Caring for the Caregiver

ACRF is pleased to continue a connection with CancerAid – the app which assists cancer patients and their caregivers. One of these caregivers is Lisa, whose father was diagnosed with Stage IV tongue cancer. She shares her heartbreaking story below.

“I wasn’t prepared for the impact of my father’s cancer. The story of my father’s cancer is now our family story. Our story begins when my father was diagnosed with Stage IV base of the tongue cancer.

It is a story I continue to tell, so that other families have the knowledge and the power to help each other.

Our story is a seven-year journey of my father living with chronic pain, losing his ability to eat and drink, spending the last four years of his life surviving solely on a peg tube with severe nerve

Nerve damage so severe that his entire body would twitch and nothing could help him, nothing could alleviate his pain.

Nerve damage so severe I would walk into my parent’s home and hear my father screaming in pain rendering us all helpless. Nerve damage so severe that my father was housebound the last two years of his life, missing countless family moments.

My mother was my father’s primary caregiver throughout his entire illness, and she did this with unconditional love, dignity and grace. If love could have saved my father he would be here right now. Even as I am writing this, I am not sure how my mother was my father’s sole caregiver for so long.

My mother is the definition of strength and courage while surrounded by heartbreak and human suffering. But caring for a loved one strains even the most resilient, loving people.

When an oxygen mask descends in front of you on an aeroplane, the first rule is to put your own mask on prior to assisting anyone else.

Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others and that rule also applies to caregiving. The life of a caregiver is not easy, but when your needs are taken care of, the person you are caring for will benefit as well. Below are some tips on taking care of YOU while caregiving for a loved one.”

Lisa offers the following advice to caregivers going through a similar experience to hers:

1. Set realistic goals – prioritize, make lists and establish a daily routine. Start saying no to requests that are draining, such as hosting holiday meals.
2. Be honest with yourself. Ask ‘am I capable of taking care of my loved one all by myself? Do I need to hire outside help or consider assisted living?’
3. Get connected – Find out about caregiving resources in your community. A support group can provide validation and encouragement, as well as problem-solving strategies for difficult situations.
4. Set personal health goals – Including goals to establish a good sleep routine. Find time to be physically active, eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of water.
5. See your doctor – Get all recommended vaccinations and screenings. Make it a priority to see your GP. Make sure to inform your doctor that you are a caregiver.

The CancerAid app is available for free to download and use on Android and Apple devices.
If you, or someone close to you, are diagnosed with cancer and you wish to use the app, Click Here